it seems like forever since i’ve wrote down anything i’ve felt, but as of the past 3 months i haven’t felt much i guess…i’ve just been working and doing meaningless bullshit with myself, i barely blog anymore, honestly i feel like i lost myself this year, everything changed in a matter of a few short weeks, i lost friends,gained friends back, then just had so many deep thoughts about where i was going what was i gonna do and was i ever going to find something i can be happy?
i honestly have no fucking clue.
here i am again stumbling into another summer where i wont know what to do and honestly this time around i’m pretty much terrified…..because i’m not where i once was….i dont have the certain friends i use to turn to. i feel so alone most days even if im surrounded by people i’m still alone…and lately its been sinking in alot, i feel like I’m sinking.
and maybe thats part of life, maybe you sink then swim then sink again but lately its just sinking. i feel like im drowning only i dont know how to stop drowning….i cant seem to push harder to the surface…and i’m just lost.
sometimes i just dont know how to stop drowning.
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD